Monday, July 31, 2006

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing
industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home or go hungry because of his temporary misfortune.

It's noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his
below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck
his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

Friday, July 28, 2006

Republican Calls for Democratic Majority in Congress

It looks as though some Republicans are so disgusted with corruption in their party that they are supporting a Democratic Majority in Congress in order to restore checks and balances.

It has been difficult, nevertheless, to conclude as I have, that the Republican House leadership has been so unalterably corrupted by power and money that reasonable Republicans should support Democrats against DeLay-type Republican incumbents in 2006.
- Pete McCloskey, former Republican Congressman

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

George "Stay The Course" Bush... Changes Course!

George W. Bush is once again getting the usual kid glove treatment from the Corporate Media.

The Chimp in Chief said two very important things today, but they were spun so well by the Media that you would think it came straight from Karen Hughes' desk.

WASHINGTON -
President Bush said Tuesday a new plan to increase U.S. and Iraqi forces in the besieged capital of Baghdad will help quell rising violence that is threatening
Iraq's transformation to a self-sustaining democracy.

"Obviously the violence in Baghdad is still terrible and therefore there needs to be more troops," Bush said in a White House news conference with visiting Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki.



First, Bush admitted that the situation in Iraq is, in fact, not improving, it is getting worse.

Second, he changed his message from "Stay the Course" to "We Need a New Plan".

Gee, where have I heard that before? Oh yes! John Kerry's campaign in 2004!

Too bad President Arbusto was too busy listening to his ipod during the debates instead of the very salient and relevent points his superior opponent was making.
He could have figured out this no-brainer 2 years ago.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Congratulations Paperclip Guy!

Kyle MacDonald, who singlehandedly restored the value of the barter system for the 21st century, has completed his quest to trade one red paperclip for things of increasing value until he gets a house.

He got a house!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Why Lieberman Needs To Go

Congressman Joe Lieberman has stated recently that if he lost the Democratic primary then he might consider running for President as an indepentant.

That would be a huge blessing for the Democrats.

Lieberman is considered a Benedict Arnold to Most Democrats, who know him as the Fox News regular who has nothing good to say about his own party. Lieberman is a favorite of Republicans who like to point to him to claim they are not partisan. There is even a movement on the right to have Lieberman run with McCain.

If Lieberman ran as an independant he would draw off more Republican votes then Democratic, and would actually be helping the Democrats by leaving their party.

Lets face it, after witnessing the Republican election antics from 2000 and 2004, the only way the Democrats can win an election now is for it to be a landslide, so that Republican manipulation of the votes can't cope with the sheer numbers.

If Democrats are smart, especially in Liebermans's district, they will oppose his bid for the Democratic nomination because that is clearly what is best for the party.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

How Much Fear Can The Fear Mongers.... um, Monge?

Is Bush wagging the dog again?

For a week, the Conservative Media has been inundating Americans with the idea of a threat from North Korea because they were going to test fire some missiles. Just a couple of Months ago the threat of the day was Iran, but that story lost ratings as America's tiny attention span was distracted by important issues like American Idol. As soon as they sensed slow news cycle begin, that could cause the media to slip into covering relevant issues out of boredom, this wonderfully convenient story pops up.

The Conservative Media, in all their fear-mongering glory, have managed to convince many Americans of a few erroneous things:

1. That North Korea's "new" missiles constitute a threat to America. This is technology that America was testing back in the 1960s. The farthest that their new "long range" missile can reach would be Alaska. We have submarine based Trident Missiles with longer ranges than that, parked right in North Korea's backyard.

Now, while it would be an ecological disaster if they did Nuke Alaska, the reality is that Alaska is a target of negative strategic value. If they bombed Alaska it would gain them nothing and would immediately unite America and the world against them.

North Korea would have a better chance of inflicting damage on American soil with a Submarine launched missile, which they have possessed for years but have not used. The only realistic possibility is that they might try invading South Korea in an attempt to reunite their country. America needs to ask itself, after the fall of the Soviet Union, is "Communism" still such a threatening concept that we would risk nuclear war to oppose it? It was Stalinism that was the real threat in the 50s, but Chinese Communists are our "Most Favored Trade Partner".

2. That America is capable of actually committing the necessary forces against North Korea right now. We are already fighting on two fronts, Afghanistan and Iraq. Our Military is already "strained and at risk" because of our current commitments.

3. That Bush's empty threats constitute "diplomacy". One of Bush's first actions in office was to cut off direct talks with North Korea and he has refused to talk to them since. Instead of just sitting down and talking with North Korea, Bush was demanding six party talks with North Korea so we could gang up on them. Who in their right mind would accept that? This is High School Diplomacy, where Bush can't even talk to the big bad bully nation without his entire friend's behind him.


Consider the timing of this new "threat". Bush is one of the most unpopular Presidents in history. He has had approval ratings below 50% for his entire second term. His domestic policies have done nothing but cause the middle class in America to disappear even faster. The gap between the rich and the poor in America is larger then in any other advanced country.

Bush's foreign policies have all been bungled from the very beginning. His War of choice in Iraq hamstrung our efforts in Afghanistan, weakening the new government we helped create there and allowing the Taliban to regain a foothold in that country.

The "plan" Bush used to invade Iraq turned out to be one of the most inept, overly optimistic and shortsighted mistakes the U.S. has ever made.

Bush and the entire Republican Party, which dominates and controls all three branches of our Government right now, need a distraction. They have nothing to offer America except fear mongering. They are trying their damnest to keep America scared. From Bird Flu to Gay Marriage, from Iran to North Korea and their favorite standby, the ever nebulous generic threat of "The Terrorists". They are trying their damnest to keep America scared out of their wits.

Why?

Because if Americans do come to their senses, they will call for regime change at home.

But the Republicans only need to continue this until November.

The Clock is ticking...

Will America wake up in time?

Tune in tomorrow and see!

Monday, July 03, 2006

NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND: THE FOOTBALL VERSION

1. All teams must make the state playoffs, and all will win the championship, If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable.

2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time and in the same conditions. No exceptions will be made for interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities. ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL.

3. Talented players will be asked to work out on their own without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athleties who aren't interested in football, have limited athletic ability, or whose parents don't like football.

4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in the 4th, 8th, and 11th games.

5. This will create a New Age of sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimal goals.

IF NO CHILD GETS AHEAD, THAN NO CHILD WILL BE LEFT BEHIND.